Words of Wisdom: Mean What You Say and Say What You Mean

~Let you no mean no

This saying is something I live by. My mom has told me this sense I was little. Your word is all you have in life and it is important people know you mean business when you speak. By me standing strong by my words, people especially guys know not to cross me.

It is hard sometimes to stick to your guns but you will receive a lot more respect from people when you do.

Perfect Weekend

Aww, this weekend was great and I am so sad it it over. I took two test last Thursday that I knew I did well on so it was great having them out of the way.

Friday night- One of my dear friends came to Houston from Dallas for a wedding. It was great to see her. I went with her and my boo to a infamous 24 hour Mexican food restaurant in Houston to enjoy drinks.

Saturday- After work, I went to the gym and waited for my boo to get off. We chilled at his house and enjoyed watching movies. It was so sweet.

Sunday- I treated my boo to brunch for his birthday and we went to my cousin's house and enjoyed good fellowship and drinks. Afterward, we went to a nice hotel downtown where I slept the entire time. I could not wake up. I was too tired from the weekend. Not getting any sleep caught up with me. We will have to go back downtown and walk the streets for fun.

The photo to the right is of my boo and me. He looks like a little boy but he is 27. Lol.

The Perfect Gift for Him/Gift Ideas

With so many birthdays and Holidays coming up it is time to start thinking about gifts. This is something I have always struggled with.

The current guy I am talking to has a birthday coming up in about a week. We have only been talking for 2 consecutive months so I was really struggling on what I should get him. I asked several of my friends and they all had different ideas. Some said clothes and others said clothes were for comfort. Some said alcohol but he is 28. So, alcohol is not that exciting anymore.

After about two weeks of discussing my dilemma with my friend, who has been in a relationship for the last 5 years and who has done every gift possible, she told me to look for the signs of what he is really interested in and the perfect gift will come to me. I completed doubted this because nothing had come to me.

But, this weekend I was browsing the internet and I thought about how excited he was when we went to church about an engraved bible his mother had given him almost nine years ago. Then, it hit me. Something engraved would be totally perfect. He is a working man so I think a engraved pen or money/card clip would be great. It is cost efficient which is very important because we have not been talking that long.

Other great ideas:
Custom Coupon Book- Simply and wallet efficient, this would be considered a thoughtful gift. Coupons could include anything from dinner and a movie, bowling night, home cooked meal, and/or full body massage done by you at home. This is perfect for a couple who has just started dating or for a couple who has been dating for a while. Be sure to include things in the coupon book he would love and you would enjoy.

Picture Frame of the two of you- Another affordable idea that is perfect for a new or older couple.

All About Us Book: I saw this book for the first time when I was 10 at Borders. At the time I did not have anyone to complete it with and I still do not. Ha ha ha. This is perfect for a couple who has been dating a while and have a lot of past experiences together. When doing the book together, one can reflect and dream of their future while bonding.

Memory Book/Scrapbook- Most men have played sports and have plenty of pictures and articles laying around about their time as a star athlete. The only problem is they will not be able to find them in a few years. So, they will truly love a scrapbook of their greatest accomplishments in one book with your creative touch.

Man Mani and Pedi- Send him to the spa. This treat can fit in all budgets. Go with him or let him have some alone time while being pampered.

Massage- Depending on your budget, you can treat you guy to a trip to Saks Fifth Avenue's spa or to a local massage school where students will be doing the massages, which will equal a fraction of the price.

Wine Tastings: Look in the newspapers for wine tastings! Sometimes they are free at local festivals in your city.

Local Concerts: There are a lot of local acts in your community. Check the out and usually cost a lot less then seeing celebrities perform when they come to your city.

Cuff Links: There is nothing like a nice business shirt finished off with matching cuff links. This is perfect for a guy who is getting ready to enter the work force or already works a 9 to 5.

Sports Game tickets

Diamond earrings- Look for deals on jewelry during the Holiday season. Macys always has there jewelry on sale.

Tailored Made Shirt- This is probably my favorite idea on the list and if my boo and I make it to Christmas this will be his gift. Talk about upgrading your boo, his mind will be blown away when you treat him to getting a custom made dress/business shirt. The shirt will be initialed with his initials and comes with a matching tie and cuff links. This usually runs about $125 up to $500. This is a experience he will never forget. There is nothing like having your clothes specifically designed for you.

Personal Challenge: Six Week Weight Lost Goal

Start Date:
October 3, 2010

End Date:
November 13, 2010

I will be blogging weekly on what I did that week and if I accomplished my fitness goal for the week and as a whole at the end of my personal challenge. I have never gone as far as posting my current weight and where I am trying to get to. But, with graduation a few months away, it is time for me to get serious. I will be balancing work, 18 hours, dating, and taking tests. However, I know this is possible.

Current Status:
Current Weight- 157
Height- 5'2
Size- Between a size 10 and 12

Goal:
Ideal weight lost- 15 pounds
Size- Solid size 10
Be more tone overall

Workout Regime:
6 days a week
60 minutes of cardio- 30 minutes on the elliptical, 15 minutes on the stairs, 15 minutes of sprinting
3 days of resistance training- One which will be done with a trainer

Daily Supplements: Women One A Day vitamin (No diet pills :/)

Food Intake: This will vary.
- No ice cream
-No fried food
- Three servings of fruit a day
- One salad a day

Words of Wisdom: Reality Check

My mother is always giving me great advice. A lot of it she got from her parents. I did not have the opportunity to meet my grandfather but I grandmother just recently died. So, I can still remember her telling me some of the same things my mother likes to say. I am going to try to do Words of Wisdom once a week. Sometimes they will be random and other times they will be inspired by events in my life or in my friend's life. Sometimes I explain the Words of Wisdom, what made me blog about them, or sometime I will just let them be. This way everyone can apply them to their own lives without reflecting on my situations.

~See things for what they are and not what you want them to be.

I have found this to be very true in relationship. I am learning to see men for what they are and not what I vision them to be.

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

I do not have any nicknames because my mom was one of 12 and was never called her name. So, she decided when she had me she would always call me Tiffany and expected everyone else to do the same.

Challenge #18- Plans/dreams/goals you have

The sky is the limit

1. Graduate with a Bachelors of Science in Political Science (If the lord shall say the same this will be happening in December)
2. Receive my Masters degree
3. Start my own nonprofit organization
4. Buy my parents a house
5. Travel to Europe
6. Start my own magazine company for minority girls
7. Have true friends

Wish list

I hope I start working soon so I can buy somethings off of my wish list.

Get Your Shine On!
Glitter Shoes are so in this fall and I am loving them. Shoes are my witness. I am going to start posting my shoes on her.












I have one maxi dress but I am really looking to get a sexy one before they are really out of style. I was in Dillard's today and I noticed they have some out for the fall in darker colors.












Classy LV
There is nothing like a designer purse to set you a step above the crowd.
















iPhone 4
I believe in having the latest phone out. The iPhone 4 has been out long enough for the kinks to be out of it.

It's School Time AGAIN!

I can not believe this time tomorrow I would have started my first day of my last semester in college. I am so happy to be back in Houston but do not feel like the idea of being back in class. This semester I am taking 21 hours. I should have started reading for my classes two weeks ago so I could a head. I am striving to make the Dean's List while partying almost every weekend. Plus trying to figuring out what to do after I graduate. Times are so hard right now. It is my last semester so I have to live it up.

My Favorite Man

My nephew has truly been a blessing. My siblings are much old than me and I do not think they were ever going to have children. Therefore, when I found out two Christmases ago my sister-in-law was pregnant, I was overjoyed.


The love I have for my nephew is unconditional. He stole my heart the second I held him tp the point I do not mind waking up at 6:30 a.m. or changing his diapers while he screams at the top of his lunges. Lol.

Do the Shuffle

What Kind of Man Would I Be- Mint Condition
Whenever You Call- Mariah Carey
Ain't No Sunshine- Michael Jackson
She Got Her Own- Jamie Foxx feat. Ne-Yo
Everything- Michael Buble
Lean With it It- Dem Franchise Boyz
Cater 2 U- Destinys Child
Charlene- Anthony Hamilton
Go Head- Gucci Mane
My Goodies- Ciara


Every song that appeared I have not listened to in a while. One day I am going to listen to every song on my iPhone instead of repeating one playlist all of the time

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Dear Dad,

Our relationship has never really been the best. But, I have always managed to look at the bright side. You were there and because of you I have been able to travel, spend time with my family, and not have to worry about where my next meal was coming from or if all the bills were going to be paid. But, you never encouraged me. I always felt like I was not good enough.

Then, just when I thought things could not get any worst at the age of 22, you have given me a 11 o'clock curfew. If I do not follow this, you have threaten to kick me and not pay my tuition. I hope one day you are able to let me go and see I am growing up. I think I have been so ideal in following all of your rules you just can not handle me not being under your wing. But, the time that you can control via money is coming to a close. Hopefully all of the helpful things you said will not effect our relationship.

Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one

This past Christmas I started watching Youtube and one lady mentioned her blog. After that I started googling different blog sites and find blogger. I knew I wanted to blog but I was unsure about what. Most of the blogs I follow focus on beauty, hair, and fashion. These are three things I am very interested in but I wanted my own personal blog to focus on many things. I did not want to limit myself on certain topics. So as time moves forward, things in my life will change and I wanted a place to tell my story without being judged. I love the connection I have made with other women via their blogs.

Challenge #10 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

I like this post because all of the music I listen to is mood based.

Happy- B.M.F. (Blowin' Money Fast) by Rick Ross

Sad- Why Does It Hurt So Bad by Whitney Houston

Bored- Tussle by Big Tuck

Hyped/Workout- Turn My Swag On

Get Allot- Young Jeezy

Challenge #9- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

No pain No Gain

I ran a mile without stopping! That was my goal for the summer and I have completed it with a few weeks left to spare. So I am going to try and run two miles without stopping within the next 3 months. Who knows, I may become a marathon runner in the future.

Challenge #8- Short term goals for this month and why

I love writing goals down. I have a lot of things I need to take care of this month.

Get a job- This is going to be hard but I enjoy having my own spending money so I can get my hair done and purchase new shoes.

Lose 7 pounds- Why 7? I do not know. It just sounded good. I have lost 17 so far. Almost 2 dress sizes.

Talk to a financial advisor- I am trying to go to grad school and I need to figure out how I am going to pay for it.

Read one classic- I love books. I am learning books are a good ways for me to relax before I go to bed.

Read the bible each day- I am trying to strengthen my relationship with Christ. I always start off good and then stop.

Challenge #7- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

One of the many reasons I have not been blogging lately is because I am currently serving with Americorps. Americorps is a national service organization. It places volunteers ages 17-24 at different nonprofit organizations throughout the year.

I am currently serving my Americorps term for the summer at Roseland, which is a housing community in North Dallas. The Roseland community has a very unique set up. It is semi gated with a community center, daycare, library, after school acadmey, computer lab and center for teens at the front. All of the things previous listed are either free or cost between $5 to $10 to use for an entire year. I, along with about 18 other Americorps members, work in one of the these areas. My focus is the library.

Serving at Roseland has truely changed my life. I always knew I wanted a career where I was helping people but I was unsure of what age range I wanted to focus on. However, I have realized I have a love for young children. Programs like the one at Roseland give children the opporunity to remain engaged all year long making it easier for them to retain information they learn throughout the school year.

Challenge #6- Favorite super hero and why

I am sorry but I do not have a favorite superhero. I did not really watch a lot of tv growing up. So, I do not really know any characteristics of superheros. Sad, I know. If I think of something later on I will post it.

Challenge #5- Aloha

I have been traveling since I was little. But I think the most interesting place I have been is Hawaii. I enjoyed everything about the trips there including the plane rides. I would love to go back soon. When we would go, we would stay for 21 days at a time visiting Honolulu, Maui, and Kauai. It was interesting to see how each island had its own personality.

Challenge #4- Bad Habit

I wish I was not sometimey. I have gotten better about this with age. But, when it comes to guys especially I tend to be sometimey with them. I act that with for various reasons. If my feelings are hurt by them or if I need attention sometimes.

I use to be sometimey with my friends but I believe I have grown out of that. I only have a few so I know I have to treat them well. Lol.

Challenge #3- Friends, how many of us have them

I have not taken a lot of pictures in the last couple of years. This is recent photo that was taken with my friend Tameshia on my birthday this year. Tameshia and I have been friends for almost 7 years. She is a great friend. She has been there for me a lot and I hope she can say the same.

Challenge #2- The meaning behind your Blogger name

When I finally decided to write a blog, it came at a point in my life when I was trying to explore new things. I wanted to share my experiences about life as I tried to figure things out. I was single for the first time in three years. So, I wanted to write about my dating experiences. I was and still am taking up an interest in makeup and fashion. I also am trying to decided what I want to do as a career. This is constantly changing and I will be updating you guys on this very soon.

Challenge #1- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself.

Ignore the crazy face. I was bored in a hotel room with my family.

1. The only show I watch on tv is Law and Order. I prefer to read.
2. I am very girly but just started wearing eyeshadow. I am hoping to upgrade soon to eyeliner.
3. I have never worn weave.
4. I workout everyday.
5. I love kids but do not want any.
6. I only drink Grey Goose Vodka.
7. I do not have any tattoos.
8. I wish I was not so boring because I would love to try a lot more things in life.
9. I will only date someone if they are a democratic.
10. I follow people like Kat Stacks on Twitter so I can live bicuriously through them. Lame I know.

11. I like people but do not have a lot friends.
12. I want to start my own nonprofit organization to help get the word out about the Democratic process to people living in low income neighborhoods.
13. I buy a different pair of shoes a week.
14. I prefer dress now since i have lost weight over regular tops.
15. I rarely wear the same thing twice.

30 Day Challenge

Long time no hear from right. Sorry. I just have not felt like blogging lately. But, I am doing this 30 day post challenge with GLAMOURLiCiOUS. Thanks girl for the idea. Maybe it will help me get back into the mood of blogging.

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself.
Day 02- The meaning behind your Blogger nameDay
03-A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn't have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30- Who are you?

Chilling, Free Personal Training, and Relaxed Hair

Since I have been home I have not felt like doing anything including writing posts. Sad, I know. But, working out six days a week has been killing me and I just started. I am happy that I am staying focus on working out.

Two days ago while I was working out a black guy walked up to me and said he noticed that that was my second time at the gym. At first I was scared because I thought he was stocking me. Then, he went on to tell me he was a trainer. After discussing my goals with him, he said he would train me for free for the next two months. I was too excited. I am sure the only reason he said that was because he is trying to hit on me. However, this is about me doing whatever it takes to reach my goals. Lol. Just playing. He has a girlfriend that he lives with so I think I am okay and do not have to worry about him being unprofessional. I will continue with my 90 minutes of cardio six days a week and hope this weight training will help increase my weight lost.

I relaxed my hair today after just six weeks for several different reasons. First off, I did not think my last relaxer took on top of the fact I have not had a good relaxer in a while because they always burn. But, this time I was able to keep the relaxer on and my hair is bone straight. I am so happy because I will be working out really hard this summer and need my hair to be manageable. It is slowly but surely going back. I know working out is slowing the process down because I am not able to co-wash. So my hair is dry. I am going to go next week and let my stylist trim a little more off because I have a few little chips that appear when I unwrap my hair. For the next 10 weeks, I will be moisturizing and sealing every other day. I will just be doing roller wraps with no heat. I am not going any where so it does not make any difference about how my hair looks.

When I made the discussion to focus on my body, my stylist could not fathom why I would allow my hair to look a mess. But, I am figuring out that my body is more important than my hair. It has taken me a long time to get to this point.

Summer Goals and Personal Challenges

This was the first time I made some new year's resolutions. Surprisingly, I have kept them. But, as the school year ends and I am reflecting on somethings that have happen, I think it is time for me to change them around a little bit. Since my birthday is in June this comes at a perfect time to kick things off for my 22nd year of life because that is when my new year official starts for me.

Summer Resolutions:
Better my blog: It is the summertime so I will have more time to look for layouts and decided on what information I want to add.

Create a vision board: This will help me focus on what I want out of life. It is about that time ladies for me to graduate.

Read one book every two weeks: This is something I use to do all of the time and I noticed my vocabulary and spelling greatly increased when I did this.

Lose 20 pounds: Since the beginning of the year when I set this resolution I have lost 12 pounds. People have been commenting on my weight lost and I want to see how far I can take it.

Do cardio for at least 2 hours a day until I am 20 pounds thinner.

Eat at least 3 serving of fruits and vegetables a day. No more fast food and drinking for the next two months. I can do it.

Lift weights every other day. It is time to get right.

Study for the teacher certification test: I changed my major and I think it would be great if I could tell my parents I will be ready to teach when I graduate. At least they will know it was not a waste of money. Lol. This is so important for me to do.

Date, Date, Date: This last on the list but certainly almost the most important besides losing weight. This is one thing I need to do more of. I am always getting serious with a guy. I am 21 and I am ready to live life. No more boyfriends or mains for a long time.

Writing these down has really helped me to stay focus on my goals. I am going to enjoy this summer and really relax because I will be taking 21 hours in the fall. Wish my luck.

Shout Outs to my Best Friend

It is crazy after starting my last blog post about Steve, I was motivated to write about the other special people in my life and I was going to start with my best friend, Randryia, who has been mention in previous posts. Then, this morning to my pleasant surprise she had started following my blog. Since I am trying to make this blog more personal now, I am going to start including names and pictures. All the names of the guys have been changed to protect my privacy not theirs. Lol.

Dryia has truly been a blessing in my life. We met each other right after my freshman year ended because we serving on an executive board together. We immediately hit it off and when I went home for the summer, we talked almost everyday on the phone for hours. She probably does not remember this but I knew we would be good friends after we had an argument one day and immediately got off of the phone. Then, about an hour later, I called her back to tell her about something I saw in the mall and the conversation continued like we had never hung up the phone mad. My mom has always stressed the importance of not holding grudges and surrounding myself with people who did the same and Dryia passed the cut.

Since we first met our friendship has grown over the pass three years. I can truly say she is the only friend I have not fallen off with. We may get busy and not talk as much but we do not have to. If things get bad, she is there for me and I am there for here. She is the only friend besides Steve I will stop doing what I am doing so I can to talk on the phone.

She has been a role model to me and given me inspiration when I felt like I wanted to quit whether it was through advice or listening to one of her stories. I would find strength through her to keep moving. Her favorite line is "Someone is always doing worst than you are".

She is only friend I discussed my grandmother's death with while my grandmother was in her last stages of life. She understood I was grieving but would not allow me to be weak. She made me understand how important it was for me to be at peace with my grandmother's death and to be strong for my mother. This is just one of the many examples of how she has helped me grow into a mature young women.

I love you very much Dryia and I am so grateful for God putting you and Ryann in my life. She a beautiful smart girl and I need to hurry up and get married so she can be my flower girl. You know I am always looking for a husband.

My dad always told me if you find one true friend in life you have done more than most. At first I thought my father was crazy for that statement but now because of my experiences in life I know my father is right. True friends are hard to find but I have figured out I would prefer to have a few people who really care than a lot just hanging around. Shoutouts to Dryia again. Thanks for following my blog.

In Love with My Best Friend

Last year about this same time, I started to realize I was falling for one of my good friends. Steve and I met at the beginning of last year in front of our Residence Hall though a mutual friend. My initial thought about him was that he was cute but like most freshman guys, he was a little rough around the edges. He had a Dallas, Tx styled Mohawk and was wearing leather shorts. But, I was drawn to his larger than life personality. After our first meeting, we went our separate ways and did not even speak. I would see him every now and then with his large "pimp" sunglasses spitting some wack line to a upperclassman girl trying to get her number. I later learned how successful he was with this.

Then, one random day I entered my friend's room and he was sitting there. We ended up leaving that tonight together and he walked to my room but he did not try and come in. I was shocked because by this time word of his reputation had even reached me. This behavior continued until the next semester up until spring break.

I do not know what happen after spring break but I could not get rid of the boy. He would spend every night in my room and would leave only in enough time to get to class to come back to my room. We would spend hours talking and spent many morning watching the sunrise while eating breakfast in the cafeteria. The crazy part is with all of the nights we laid next to each other nothing ever happen between us. Steve never tried to touch or kiss me.

By us spending time together, I started to see qualities in him that I wanted my significant other to have and my current boyfriend at the time did not possess them. Steve commands a room when he enters. He is social and can work a large crowd just like myself. I did not have to worry about him sitting in a corner looking bored while I was mingling with my friends. My family loved him and most of all he loves children. We both have a special relationship with best friend's little girl. He is so patience with her. To see the way his heart melts when he is around her is the sweetest thing ever. Side note: The fact that my best friend trust a man to be with her child besides her father is saying a lot about Steve.

So if he is so great and we mesh so well why in the hell are we not together? That is just life sometimes. But, I recently realized I am unable to find someone that catches my interest because I want them to be Steve, which is not fair to them. I am not literally in love with Steve but I am in love with the man he is. The level of respect he has shown my best friend, her daughter, and me is out of the world. Seeing how they are so important to my life and knowing he loves them as much as I do is a serious plus.

However, I know things are not in the place they need to be for Steve and I to even give each other a shot. I have figured out I can look for men to have the same qualities and characteristics of Steve but I need to give them a chance to show me what they have to offer. I am so happy for Steve being in my life because he has shown me some things that are important for a man to have if I would like to see myself making a commitment to them that I had never thought of before. Therefore, I will always be grateful for the connection I share with him.

Why in the Hell am I Still a Virgin?

When I started writing this blog last night it was about a completely different subject. I was going to talk about the level the main guy I am/was talking too is on. But, then I woke up this morning and received a text from him saying we should chill until school is over so we can have more time for each other.

What the heck is chill? We have already gone from being non exclusive to exclusive back to being non exclusive in the past five months. How much more chilling in there for us to do? Austin and I have a long history together. I emotionally cheated on my ex with him for a year and a half.

This past December after not talking to each other for about 2 years we decided to give us a fair shot. But, there was a catch, we could talk but he did not want a relationship. I was cool with that but I told him that I would not just be talking to him for the sake of talking to long. We know each and we are way pass, in my opinion, the stage getting to know each other.

What does this have to do with the title of my blog? Everything. Every time I stop talking to a guy I wonder why did not have sex with him. It is almost like part of me wanted to. I do not say at the end of us that I am not happy I did not have sex with him but rather the next guy I talk to seriously I will go to the next stage with him. Maybe I just want to experience sex or I think it would have made the bond between us stronger.

Last night while I was sipping on my margarita, pretty much preparing myself for Austin's text messages, I texted my best friend, Randryia, asking her why am I still a virgin. She responded telling me because I did not want to have to deal with the problems sex created in relationships. I was shocked by her response because she and my other best friend are always picking on me for being a virgin. She said if she could do it all over again she would even be one. Even more shocking because this girl loves sex.

When I write these posts I try to end them complete but this time I can not tie everything together because I am really confused. I need help ladies trying to figure this thing out.

A Wierd Stage

As of late when I have been going out, the youngest man who has hit on me has been in his late 20s. Seeing how I have not yet graduated from college, I am trying to determine what is the oldest person I should/would date.

Sometimes I feel I am limited to dating only college-aged guys, meaning no one older than 22 makes the cut. This theory would be okay if I attended a traditional school where most people lived on campus until they were at least juniors. However, at my university, most people commute and the few people who start off living on campus leave after their freshman year. Therefore, the guys I meet in my Residence Hall gets younger each year. This has caused me to talk to guys who were younger than me and tended to act very immature.

So, I decided to give older men a chance. But, the question I have been trying to figure out, is how old is too old. When it comes to older men sometimes I feel like quite a few are trying to lecture me. I understand they are established in their career but that does not give them the right to talk to me like a child. Then, some men are just too old for me to even give them a chance. It is creepy. I often wonder what they are lacking that women of their own age do not want them. Then, how much do we really have in common. I am still getting use to drinking and going to the club whereas they should be focusing on marriage and 401k's. Ha ha.

The stage I am in right now reminds me of when someone is 20. They are out of their teenage years but to young to do some things. I hope I can figure out a answer to the age limit or lack there of in my dating world. Until the, I am still trying to figure it out.

Getting Back In Sync

As of late I have not really felt like doing any blogging. The school year is near the end and I always get homesick around this time for various reasons include pressure of finals and being bored on campus because I do not have classes to attend. But, I have had enough of feeling sorry for myself and decided to get back into the swing of things.

I am starting to figure out that I let people get to me to much. For the past two weeks someone I had given a second chance in a friendship started once again acting funny. I kept replaying things in my head wondering if I had done something or said something. But, then it hit me, if anyone should be acting funny it should me because of some shady behavior she had lately. However, I continued to stress over it to the point where I think I am going to make my cycle come early. This is once again another lesson learned. I should have remembered why I stopped fooling with her in the first place.

I did not tell my best friend, Randryia, I had fallen out with the girl again partly because I never told her I was back hanging out with her. It was kind of just understood. Then, when I started having problems it became understood when I would call her about what if situations I was speaking about the girl. I guess that is why we are best friends because sometimes things can be left unsaid.

After a emotional couple of weeks, I have let things go. I know there is more for me to focus on such as finals and getting ready to prepare for grad school. I am happy I have snapped out of my depressing mood and am back in sync.

Old News

I have not posted in a while but I had a busy weekend/week visiting my family back in my home town. That was the first time I had been so busy when I went back home. I did not even have a chance to see the main guy I talk to.

Friday night I had the opportunity to see a guy from my past name Chris. We recently reconnected after about 5 years. When my cousin first gave me his phone, I was so excited. I felt like I was in high school all over again. I started reflecting on how great our short fling was when we talked back in high school.

Before Chris pulled up next to me in his car, I knew the roles had been switched on how we felt about each other from the conversations we had been having over the last three weeks. He was overly excited to see me and wanted to do nothing but talk to me all night long. However, the topics we discussed on the phone were boring to me and he was unable to hold my interest. I think part of it was because I have continued my education while he has just continued to kick it in the hood. Therefore, he could not talk about my major with me nor could we exchange crazy stories about our college experiences or future career plans after graduation.

I tried to be open-minded about seeing him. I really wanted to be emotional attached to him again. But, the feelings were gone. He was still the same guy but I had changed. The same things I loved before about him, now irritated me. He was to silly and arrogant. Plus, I could not get over the way he treated me in high school. He decided to date another girl because I was a virgin and my parents were sick.

It was nice seeing him again so I could move on and stop comparing and wishing every guy I talk to now was him. I am in a different stage on my life right now and Chris is just old news. As I grow, I am figuring out that my interest will change in a lot of things including my the characteristics I want my potential love interests to have.

Remaining a Mystery and Not Giving into the Flesh

I may be late to class just so I can write this blog but it hit me while I was taking a shower. I have noticed if I do not blog right then and there I may not have the passion to do it later.

At the beginning of the semester I eyed the prettiest brown skin brother in one of my upper level political science classes. I had never seen him before but figured he had pontential because he had made it this far in college. With my major, I never see black men, so I was so excited. About half way though the semester we exchanged numbers to study. He came over one night and we talked for a long time. The next night he invited me over. We had a lot of fun but one thing led to another and we started kissing. As things got heated, he proceeded to get up and get a condom. Side note: He was real lame for that because it took me out of any type of mood I was feeling. I froze because I knew I had to tell him I was a virigin.

Usually before fooling around with guys, I get to know them first. So there are no suprises to them about what I am doing or lack there of in the sex department. With this guy, there was something about him that made me just want to forget about my values for a second. Maybe it did not even have anything to do with him. Maybe I was stressed and was just looking for a good time. I know it sound pretty bad. But, whatever it was, I should not have given into the flesh. Why? Because my mystery as a woman is gone with him. He does not have to work for me. He has already had me. About a month later, I feel as if I am old news especially since we are not having sex. It does not matter if I try to explain to him a million times I am a good girl, he is not going to believe.

Well at least I figured out the same rule about not having sex with a guy to soon applies to fooling around with them. When you have sex in a relationship to soon without feelings, it will be nothing for the guy to walk away because there is nothing else invested in it. So as I continue dating, I know next time what not to do. I also have figured out that I am not the girl who likes the casual fool around thing. I prefer the actual dating process.

Making Time for Your Health

Before I entered college I was a beautiful size 9. I liked my size but I thought I would lose 10 pounds because there was a gym right across the street from my dorm. But, 4 years later I am just getting back to my size 9.

After gaining almost 20 pounds in college, this Januray I decided I had had enough. My new years resolution was to work out 6 days a week until I reached the size I wanted to be. I did not change my eating habits but I upped my workout time to at least 1 hour and 30 minutes a day.

Four months later people are starting to comment on my weight lost saying I am disappearing but they did not know me when I first entered college. A lot of people are asking me what is my secret and I tell them not making any excuses. For three years I did not workout because I did not want to mess up my hair or I did not want to go to the gym by myself. I would say I was to busy with school work, taking a nap, or hanging out with my friends.

Before I got serious about my weight lost, I would make up anything to not face reality about my new body. At first, I lied to myself about my weight. I would pretend I was the same size. After I could not wear my jeans anymore, I would only wear sweat pants. I stop taking pictures because I looked so big in them. But, I would reason with myself by saying I was not really that big, the camera just added a few pounds. At my biggest point, I stopped looking in the mirror and said at least I have a pretty face and guys like thick chicks.

The turning point in my life was after I joined a hair website called hairlista to regrow my hair. I was like it I can spend all this time on my hair I need to spend some time on my body. Long hair does not improve one's health at all and it does not buy anyone time on earth.

Ladies and gents we must make time for ourselves overall. It really bothers me how much money African American women will invest in beauty and hair products but not spend anytime focusing on their body. We can attend church two to three times a week for at least 10 hours in total but will not go to the gym to save our lives. I happy I am figuring out how to balance school, my hair, and my health...kinda.

Not Enough Time

I am learning that I am a very confusing person. For the last four months I have been begging the current guy I talk to be in a relationship. However, after messing around with another guy for the last month I realized I just want to leave my options open and it is reflecting in the way I teach him.

This weekend the current guy I talk to came to visit on Friday night. We were both at the same club and when I saw him we hugged and went our separate ways. I sat down for most of the night. Even with that he said he was a little disappointment in some of my behavior. But, whatever...I am young in club and I am going to have fun.

So he comes over after the club and I stayed up with him until about 11. I got a few hours of sleep and got ready to go get my niece with my best friend. Before leaving he made the comment of when he comes to Houston am I going to be going to get a little girl randomly. That was the first red flag. I started to cuss him out for that but since I have given up cussing I told him yes. So, after a day of hanging out with my niece and watching my little cousins I was tired and ready to go to sleep. We got in a big argument and he was not happy I did not change my priorities for him. The argument continue on until Sunday and I was not budging on my stance of not stopping my life even though he was only in town for 72 hours and we live 250 miles away from each other.

After everything was said and done, I had to agree with him about not being the girl he should be in a relationship with. But, there is two sides to this. When I originally was willing to give it my all he was not trying to go there so, I had to switch my mindset to being able to accept the situation in order to have him in my life. Although he says with each day his feelings are getting stronger we are still not together and he is still partying. I believe he tells me this just to keep me hanging around a little longer. However, in staying around my attitude has changed greatly.

In less than three months I will be starting my last semester of college taking 21 hours. I understand now I do not want the pressure and stress of being in a relationship. In the past I have sacrificed grades and a lot of myself for the stake of my significant other and I will not do that. If I want to hang out everyday with my friends, stay out every night and party, and study during the day with no time to text or call a guy that is what I will do. I do not have the time nor patience for anything serious right now. I am finally figuring out that I just want to casually date.