In Love with My Best Friend

Last year about this same time, I started to realize I was falling for one of my good friends. Steve and I met at the beginning of last year in front of our Residence Hall though a mutual friend. My initial thought about him was that he was cute but like most freshman guys, he was a little rough around the edges. He had a Dallas, Tx styled Mohawk and was wearing leather shorts. But, I was drawn to his larger than life personality. After our first meeting, we went our separate ways and did not even speak. I would see him every now and then with his large "pimp" sunglasses spitting some wack line to a upperclassman girl trying to get her number. I later learned how successful he was with this.

Then, one random day I entered my friend's room and he was sitting there. We ended up leaving that tonight together and he walked to my room but he did not try and come in. I was shocked because by this time word of his reputation had even reached me. This behavior continued until the next semester up until spring break.

I do not know what happen after spring break but I could not get rid of the boy. He would spend every night in my room and would leave only in enough time to get to class to come back to my room. We would spend hours talking and spent many morning watching the sunrise while eating breakfast in the cafeteria. The crazy part is with all of the nights we laid next to each other nothing ever happen between us. Steve never tried to touch or kiss me.

By us spending time together, I started to see qualities in him that I wanted my significant other to have and my current boyfriend at the time did not possess them. Steve commands a room when he enters. He is social and can work a large crowd just like myself. I did not have to worry about him sitting in a corner looking bored while I was mingling with my friends. My family loved him and most of all he loves children. We both have a special relationship with best friend's little girl. He is so patience with her. To see the way his heart melts when he is around her is the sweetest thing ever. Side note: The fact that my best friend trust a man to be with her child besides her father is saying a lot about Steve.

So if he is so great and we mesh so well why in the hell are we not together? That is just life sometimes. But, I recently realized I am unable to find someone that catches my interest because I want them to be Steve, which is not fair to them. I am not literally in love with Steve but I am in love with the man he is. The level of respect he has shown my best friend, her daughter, and me is out of the world. Seeing how they are so important to my life and knowing he loves them as much as I do is a serious plus.

However, I know things are not in the place they need to be for Steve and I to even give each other a shot. I have figured out I can look for men to have the same qualities and characteristics of Steve but I need to give them a chance to show me what they have to offer. I am so happy for Steve being in my life because he has shown me some things that are important for a man to have if I would like to see myself making a commitment to them that I had never thought of before. Therefore, I will always be grateful for the connection I share with him.