When I started writing this blog last night it was about a completely different subject. I was going to talk about the level the main guy I am/was talking too is on. But, then I woke up this morning and received a text from him saying we should chill until school is over so we can have more time for each other.
What the heck is chill? We have already gone from being non exclusive to exclusive back to being non exclusive in the past five months. How much more chilling in there for us to do? Austin and I have a long history together. I emotionally cheated on my ex with him for a year and a half.
This past December after not talking to each other for about 2 years we decided to give us a fair shot. But, there was a catch, we could talk but he did not want a relationship. I was cool with that but I told him that I would not just be talking to him for the sake of talking to long. We know each and we are way pass, in my opinion, the stage getting to know each other.
What does this have to do with the title of my blog? Everything. Every time I stop talking to a guy I wonder why did not have sex with him. It is almost like part of me wanted to. I do not say at the end of us that I am not happy I did not have sex with him but rather the next guy I talk to seriously I will go to the next stage with him. Maybe I just want to experience sex or I think it would have made the bond between us stronger.
Last night while I was sipping on my margarita, pretty much preparing myself for Austin's text messages, I texted my best friend, Randryia, asking her why am I still a virgin. She responded telling me because I did not want to have to deal with the problems sex created in relationships. I was shocked by her response because she and my other best friend are always picking on me for being a virgin. She said if she could do it all over again she would even be one. Even more shocking because this girl loves sex.
When I write these posts I try to end them complete but this time I can not tie everything together because I am really confused. I need help ladies trying to figure this thing out.
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I agree with your friend. If I could be one again I would in a heartbeat. I think there are different reasons why people have sex.
ReplyDelete1. Just to do it (You get the urge and you want it fulfilled..no strings attached just sex)
2. Emotional Connection (You want to connect with that person on a deeper level) The problem with this one is when its over or if they end up hurting you...you really feel it. I mean really feel it because you gave that person a part of you.
My best friend is in your position. She's not waiting until she gets married but she's waiting for the right guy. If you can have sex just to have it then go ahead but if you're looking for a deeper connection then I say wait until you find the right person. Because the person you give it to will always be a part of your life. I made the choice to be celibate (& wait unil marriage) because I gave it to my first love and even though we were together for a long time he ended up hurting me. I don't want to go through that again so I'm waiting for that lifetime commitment.
I'm sure whatever you decide will be what's best for you. And remember there are many girls who wish they had what you have. I know I do lol
XoXo Good luck lady :)
Aww, thank you so much for this beautiful comment. You are so right about the right person. I also like how you said you are waiting for that lifelong commitment. That is very deep.
ReplyDeleteGirl...who gives a F*** if your a virgin or not..let me tell you something..when a guy loves you HE WILL WAIT! he WONT pressure you..it doesnt matter if you boned one guy or 30..YOU will know when your ready! I lost my virginity till I was 20...to some guy who I was dating for almost 4 years..it took him almost 2 years to get IT..and I look back and regret it because eventhough we dated for so long I didnt feel ready to have sex..but he pressured me and I felt that 2 yrs was enough for him and I didnt want to be a "buzzkill" anywho..your a beautiful girl and Im sure the right guy will come and sweep you off your feet andyou will have amazing mind blowing sex lol...its awesome that your that way!! KUDOS TO YOU HUN.......p.s thanks for commenting on my post that is my next trip! I always wanted to go to New orleans it just seems like a place full of culture..so enriched ya know.. ihope you have a blast babe! I dont know if it helps you when you pack but I literally packed a DAY outfit and a NIGHT outfit for each day I was there :)..and girl you look fab awready Im sure you will put some fly ish together
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