Since I have been home I have not felt like doing anything including writing posts. Sad, I know. But, working out six days a week has been killing me and I just started. I am happy that I am staying focus on working out.
Two days ago while I was working out a black guy walked up to me and said he noticed that that was my second time at the gym. At first I was scared because I thought he was stocking me. Then, he went on to tell me he was a trainer. After discussing my goals with him, he said he would train me for free for the next two months. I was too excited. I am sure the only reason he said that was because he is trying to hit on me. However, this is about me doing whatever it takes to reach my goals. Lol. Just playing. He has a girlfriend that he lives with so I think I am okay and do not have to worry about him being unprofessional. I will continue with my 90 minutes of cardio six days a week and hope this weight training will help increase my weight lost.
I relaxed my hair today after just six weeks for several different reasons. First off, I did not think my last relaxer took on top of the fact I have not had a good relaxer in a while because they always burn. But, this time I was able to keep the relaxer on and my hair is bone straight. I am so happy because I will be working out really hard this summer and need my hair to be manageable. It is slowly but surely going back. I know working out is slowing the process down because I am not able to co-wash. So my hair is dry. I am going to go next week and let my stylist trim a little more off because I have a few little chips that appear when I unwrap my hair. For the next 10 weeks, I will be moisturizing and sealing every other day. I will just be doing roller wraps with no heat. I am not going any where so it does not make any difference about how my hair looks.
When I made the discussion to focus on my body, my stylist could not fathom why I would allow my hair to look a mess. But, I am figuring out that my body is more important than my hair. It has taken me a long time to get to this point.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Summer Goals and Personal Challenges
This was the first time I made some new year's resolutions. Surprisingly, I have kept them. But, as the school year ends and I am reflecting on somethings that have happen, I think it is time for me to change them around a little bit. Since my birthday is in June this comes at a perfect time to kick things off for my 22nd year of life because that is when my new year official starts for me.
Summer Resolutions:
Better my blog: It is the summertime so I will have more time to look for layouts and decided on what information I want to add.
Create a vision board: This will help me focus on what I want out of life. It is about that time ladies for me to graduate.
Read one book every two weeks: This is something I use to do all of the time and I noticed my vocabulary and spelling greatly increased when I did this.
Lose 20 pounds: Since the beginning of the year when I set this resolution I have lost 12 pounds. People have been commenting on my weight lost and I want to see how far I can take it.
Do cardio for at least 2 hours a day until I am 20 pounds thinner.
Eat at least 3 serving of fruits and vegetables a day. No more fast food and drinking for the next two months. I can do it.
Lift weights every other day. It is time to get right.
Study for the teacher certification test: I changed my major and I think it would be great if I could tell my parents I will be ready to teach when I graduate. At least they will know it was not a waste of money. Lol. This is so important for me to do.
Date, Date, Date: This last on the list but certainly almost the most important besides losing weight. This is one thing I need to do more of. I am always getting serious with a guy. I am 21 and I am ready to live life. No more boyfriends or mains for a long time.
Writing these down has really helped me to stay focus on my goals. I am going to enjoy this summer and really relax because I will be taking 21 hours in the fall. Wish my luck.
Summer Resolutions:
Better my blog: It is the summertime so I will have more time to look for layouts and decided on what information I want to add.
Create a vision board: This will help me focus on what I want out of life. It is about that time ladies for me to graduate.
Read one book every two weeks: This is something I use to do all of the time and I noticed my vocabulary and spelling greatly increased when I did this.
Lose 20 pounds: Since the beginning of the year when I set this resolution I have lost 12 pounds. People have been commenting on my weight lost and I want to see how far I can take it.
Do cardio for at least 2 hours a day until I am 20 pounds thinner.
Eat at least 3 serving of fruits and vegetables a day. No more fast food and drinking for the next two months. I can do it.
Lift weights every other day. It is time to get right.
Study for the teacher certification test: I changed my major and I think it would be great if I could tell my parents I will be ready to teach when I graduate. At least they will know it was not a waste of money. Lol. This is so important for me to do.
Date, Date, Date: This last on the list but certainly almost the most important besides losing weight. This is one thing I need to do more of. I am always getting serious with a guy. I am 21 and I am ready to live life. No more boyfriends or mains for a long time.
Writing these down has really helped me to stay focus on my goals. I am going to enjoy this summer and really relax because I will be taking 21 hours in the fall. Wish my luck.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Shout Outs to my Best Friend
It is crazy after starting my last blog post about Steve, I was motivated to write about the other special people in my life and I was going to start with my best friend, Randryia, who has been mention in previous posts. Then, this morning to my pleasant surprise she had started following my blog. Since I am trying to make this blog more personal now, I am going to start including names and pictures. All the names of the guys have been changed to protect my privacy not theirs. Lol.
Dryia has truly been a blessing in my life. We met each other right after my freshman year ended because we serving on an executive board together. We immediately hit it off and when I went home for the summer, we talked almost everyday on the phone for hours. She probably does not remember this but I knew we would be good friends after we had an argument one day and immediately got off of the phone. Then, about an hour later, I called her back to tell her about something I saw in the mall and the conversation continued like we had never hung up the phone mad. My mom has always stressed the importance of not holding grudges and surrounding myself with people who did the same and Dryia passed the cut.
Since we first met our friendship has grown over the pass three years. I can truly say she is the only friend I have not fallen off with. We may get busy and not talk as much but we do not have to. If things get bad, she is there for me and I am there for here. She is the only friend besides Steve I will stop doing what I am doing so I can to talk on the phone.
She has been a role model to me and given me inspiration when I felt like I wanted to quit whether it was through advice or listening to one of her stories. I would find strength through her to keep moving. Her favorite line is "Someone is always doing worst than you are".
She is only friend I discussed my grandmother's death with while my grandmother was in her last stages of life. She understood I was grieving but would not allow me to be weak. She made me understand how important it was for me to be at peace with my grandmother's death and to be strong for my mother. This is just one of the many examples of how she has helped me grow into a mature young women.
I love you very much Dryia and I am so grateful for God putting you and Ryann in my life. She a beautiful smart girl and I need to hurry up and get married so she can be my flower girl. You know I am always looking for a husband.
My dad always told me if you find one true friend in life you have done more than most. At first I thought my father was crazy for that statement but now because of my experiences in life I know my father is right. True friends are hard to find but I have figured out I would prefer to have a few people who really care than a lot just hanging around. Shoutouts to Dryia again. Thanks for following my blog.
Dryia has truly been a blessing in my life. We met each other right after my freshman year ended because we serving on an executive board together. We immediately hit it off and when I went home for the summer, we talked almost everyday on the phone for hours. She probably does not remember this but I knew we would be good friends after we had an argument one day and immediately got off of the phone. Then, about an hour later, I called her back to tell her about something I saw in the mall and the conversation continued like we had never hung up the phone mad. My mom has always stressed the importance of not holding grudges and surrounding myself with people who did the same and Dryia passed the cut.
Since we first met our friendship has grown over the pass three years. I can truly say she is the only friend I have not fallen off with. We may get busy and not talk as much but we do not have to. If things get bad, she is there for me and I am there for here. She is the only friend besides Steve I will stop doing what I am doing so I can to talk on the phone.
She has been a role model to me and given me inspiration when I felt like I wanted to quit whether it was through advice or listening to one of her stories. I would find strength through her to keep moving. Her favorite line is "Someone is always doing worst than you are".
She is only friend I discussed my grandmother's death with while my grandmother was in her last stages of life. She understood I was grieving but would not allow me to be weak. She made me understand how important it was for me to be at peace with my grandmother's death and to be strong for my mother. This is just one of the many examples of how she has helped me grow into a mature young women.
I love you very much Dryia and I am so grateful for God putting you and Ryann in my life. She a beautiful smart girl and I need to hurry up and get married so she can be my flower girl. You know I am always looking for a husband.
My dad always told me if you find one true friend in life you have done more than most. At first I thought my father was crazy for that statement but now because of my experiences in life I know my father is right. True friends are hard to find but I have figured out I would prefer to have a few people who really care than a lot just hanging around. Shoutouts to Dryia again. Thanks for following my blog.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
In Love with My Best Friend
Last year about this same time, I started to realize I was falling for one of my good friends. Steve and I met at the beginning of last year in front of our Residence Hall though a mutual friend. My initial thought about him was that he was cute but like most freshman guys, he was a little rough around the edges. He had a Dallas, Tx styled Mohawk and was wearing leather shorts. But, I was drawn to his larger than life personality. After our first meeting, we went our separate ways and did not even speak. I would see him every now and then with his large "pimp" sunglasses spitting some wack line to a upperclassman girl trying to get her number. I later learned how successful he was with this.
Then, one random day I entered my friend's room and he was sitting there. We ended up leaving that tonight together and he walked to my room but he did not try and come in. I was shocked because by this time word of his reputation had even reached me. This behavior continued until the next semester up until spring break.
I do not know what happen after spring break but I could not get rid of the boy. He would spend every night in my room and would leave only in enough time to get to class to come back to my room. We would spend hours talking and spent many morning watching the sunrise while eating breakfast in the cafeteria. The crazy part is with all of the nights we laid next to each other nothing ever happen between us. Steve never tried to touch or kiss me.
By us spending time together, I started to see qualities in him that I wanted my significant other to have and my current boyfriend at the time did not possess them. Steve commands a room when he enters. He is social and can work a large crowd just like myself. I did not have to worry about him sitting in a corner looking bored while I was mingling with my friends. My family loved him and most of all he loves children. We both have a special relationship with best friend's little girl. He is so patience with her. To see the way his heart melts when he is around her is the sweetest thing ever. Side note: The fact that my best friend trust a man to be with her child besides her father is saying a lot about Steve.
So if he is so great and we mesh so well why in the hell are we not together? That is just life sometimes. But, I recently realized I am unable to find someone that catches my interest because I want them to be Steve, which is not fair to them. I am not literally in love with Steve but I am in love with the man he is. The level of respect he has shown my best friend, her daughter, and me is out of the world. Seeing how they are so important to my life and knowing he loves them as much as I do is a serious plus.
However, I know things are not in the place they need to be for Steve and I to even give each other a shot. I have figured out I can look for men to have the same qualities and characteristics of Steve but I need to give them a chance to show me what they have to offer. I am so happy for Steve being in my life because he has shown me some things that are important for a man to have if I would like to see myself making a commitment to them that I had never thought of before. Therefore, I will always be grateful for the connection I share with him.
Then, one random day I entered my friend's room and he was sitting there. We ended up leaving that tonight together and he walked to my room but he did not try and come in. I was shocked because by this time word of his reputation had even reached me. This behavior continued until the next semester up until spring break.
I do not know what happen after spring break but I could not get rid of the boy. He would spend every night in my room and would leave only in enough time to get to class to come back to my room. We would spend hours talking and spent many morning watching the sunrise while eating breakfast in the cafeteria. The crazy part is with all of the nights we laid next to each other nothing ever happen between us. Steve never tried to touch or kiss me.
By us spending time together, I started to see qualities in him that I wanted my significant other to have and my current boyfriend at the time did not possess them. Steve commands a room when he enters. He is social and can work a large crowd just like myself. I did not have to worry about him sitting in a corner looking bored while I was mingling with my friends. My family loved him and most of all he loves children. We both have a special relationship with best friend's little girl. He is so patience with her. To see the way his heart melts when he is around her is the sweetest thing ever. Side note: The fact that my best friend trust a man to be with her child besides her father is saying a lot about Steve.
So if he is so great and we mesh so well why in the hell are we not together? That is just life sometimes. But, I recently realized I am unable to find someone that catches my interest because I want them to be Steve, which is not fair to them. I am not literally in love with Steve but I am in love with the man he is. The level of respect he has shown my best friend, her daughter, and me is out of the world. Seeing how they are so important to my life and knowing he loves them as much as I do is a serious plus.
However, I know things are not in the place they need to be for Steve and I to even give each other a shot. I have figured out I can look for men to have the same qualities and characteristics of Steve but I need to give them a chance to show me what they have to offer. I am so happy for Steve being in my life because he has shown me some things that are important for a man to have if I would like to see myself making a commitment to them that I had never thought of before. Therefore, I will always be grateful for the connection I share with him.
Why in the Hell am I Still a Virgin?
When I started writing this blog last night it was about a completely different subject. I was going to talk about the level the main guy I am/was talking too is on. But, then I woke up this morning and received a text from him saying we should chill until school is over so we can have more time for each other.
What the heck is chill? We have already gone from being non exclusive to exclusive back to being non exclusive in the past five months. How much more chilling in there for us to do? Austin and I have a long history together. I emotionally cheated on my ex with him for a year and a half.
This past December after not talking to each other for about 2 years we decided to give us a fair shot. But, there was a catch, we could talk but he did not want a relationship. I was cool with that but I told him that I would not just be talking to him for the sake of talking to long. We know each and we are way pass, in my opinion, the stage getting to know each other.
What does this have to do with the title of my blog? Everything. Every time I stop talking to a guy I wonder why did not have sex with him. It is almost like part of me wanted to. I do not say at the end of us that I am not happy I did not have sex with him but rather the next guy I talk to seriously I will go to the next stage with him. Maybe I just want to experience sex or I think it would have made the bond between us stronger.
Last night while I was sipping on my margarita, pretty much preparing myself for Austin's text messages, I texted my best friend, Randryia, asking her why am I still a virgin. She responded telling me because I did not want to have to deal with the problems sex created in relationships. I was shocked by her response because she and my other best friend are always picking on me for being a virgin. She said if she could do it all over again she would even be one. Even more shocking because this girl loves sex.
When I write these posts I try to end them complete but this time I can not tie everything together because I am really confused. I need help ladies trying to figure this thing out.
What the heck is chill? We have already gone from being non exclusive to exclusive back to being non exclusive in the past five months. How much more chilling in there for us to do? Austin and I have a long history together. I emotionally cheated on my ex with him for a year and a half.
This past December after not talking to each other for about 2 years we decided to give us a fair shot. But, there was a catch, we could talk but he did not want a relationship. I was cool with that but I told him that I would not just be talking to him for the sake of talking to long. We know each and we are way pass, in my opinion, the stage getting to know each other.
What does this have to do with the title of my blog? Everything. Every time I stop talking to a guy I wonder why did not have sex with him. It is almost like part of me wanted to. I do not say at the end of us that I am not happy I did not have sex with him but rather the next guy I talk to seriously I will go to the next stage with him. Maybe I just want to experience sex or I think it would have made the bond between us stronger.
Last night while I was sipping on my margarita, pretty much preparing myself for Austin's text messages, I texted my best friend, Randryia, asking her why am I still a virgin. She responded telling me because I did not want to have to deal with the problems sex created in relationships. I was shocked by her response because she and my other best friend are always picking on me for being a virgin. She said if she could do it all over again she would even be one. Even more shocking because this girl loves sex.
When I write these posts I try to end them complete but this time I can not tie everything together because I am really confused. I need help ladies trying to figure this thing out.
Monday, May 3, 2010
A Wierd Stage
As of late when I have been going out, the youngest man who has hit on me has been in his late 20s. Seeing how I have not yet graduated from college, I am trying to determine what is the oldest person I should/would date.
Sometimes I feel I am limited to dating only college-aged guys, meaning no one older than 22 makes the cut. This theory would be okay if I attended a traditional school where most people lived on campus until they were at least juniors. However, at my university, most people commute and the few people who start off living on campus leave after their freshman year. Therefore, the guys I meet in my Residence Hall gets younger each year. This has caused me to talk to guys who were younger than me and tended to act very immature.
So, I decided to give older men a chance. But, the question I have been trying to figure out, is how old is too old. When it comes to older men sometimes I feel like quite a few are trying to lecture me. I understand they are established in their career but that does not give them the right to talk to me like a child. Then, some men are just too old for me to even give them a chance. It is creepy. I often wonder what they are lacking that women of their own age do not want them. Then, how much do we really have in common. I am still getting use to drinking and going to the club whereas they should be focusing on marriage and 401k's. Ha ha.
The stage I am in right now reminds me of when someone is 20. They are out of their teenage years but to young to do some things. I hope I can figure out a answer to the age limit or lack there of in my dating world. Until the, I am still trying to figure it out.
Sometimes I feel I am limited to dating only college-aged guys, meaning no one older than 22 makes the cut. This theory would be okay if I attended a traditional school where most people lived on campus until they were at least juniors. However, at my university, most people commute and the few people who start off living on campus leave after their freshman year. Therefore, the guys I meet in my Residence Hall gets younger each year. This has caused me to talk to guys who were younger than me and tended to act very immature.
So, I decided to give older men a chance. But, the question I have been trying to figure out, is how old is too old. When it comes to older men sometimes I feel like quite a few are trying to lecture me. I understand they are established in their career but that does not give them the right to talk to me like a child. Then, some men are just too old for me to even give them a chance. It is creepy. I often wonder what they are lacking that women of their own age do not want them. Then, how much do we really have in common. I am still getting use to drinking and going to the club whereas they should be focusing on marriage and 401k's. Ha ha.
The stage I am in right now reminds me of when someone is 20. They are out of their teenage years but to young to do some things. I hope I can figure out a answer to the age limit or lack there of in my dating world. Until the, I am still trying to figure it out.
Getting Back In Sync
As of late I have not really felt like doing any blogging. The school year is near the end and I always get homesick around this time for various reasons include pressure of finals and being bored on campus because I do not have classes to attend. But, I have had enough of feeling sorry for myself and decided to get back into the swing of things.
I am starting to figure out that I let people get to me to much. For the past two weeks someone I had given a second chance in a friendship started once again acting funny. I kept replaying things in my head wondering if I had done something or said something. But, then it hit me, if anyone should be acting funny it should me because of some shady behavior she had lately. However, I continued to stress over it to the point where I think I am going to make my cycle come early. This is once again another lesson learned. I should have remembered why I stopped fooling with her in the first place.
I did not tell my best friend, Randryia, I had fallen out with the girl again partly because I never told her I was back hanging out with her. It was kind of just understood. Then, when I started having problems it became understood when I would call her about what if situations I was speaking about the girl. I guess that is why we are best friends because sometimes things can be left unsaid.
After a emotional couple of weeks, I have let things go. I know there is more for me to focus on such as finals and getting ready to prepare for grad school. I am happy I have snapped out of my depressing mood and am back in sync.
I am starting to figure out that I let people get to me to much. For the past two weeks someone I had given a second chance in a friendship started once again acting funny. I kept replaying things in my head wondering if I had done something or said something. But, then it hit me, if anyone should be acting funny it should me because of some shady behavior she had lately. However, I continued to stress over it to the point where I think I am going to make my cycle come early. This is once again another lesson learned. I should have remembered why I stopped fooling with her in the first place.
I did not tell my best friend, Randryia, I had fallen out with the girl again partly because I never told her I was back hanging out with her. It was kind of just understood. Then, when I started having problems it became understood when I would call her about what if situations I was speaking about the girl. I guess that is why we are best friends because sometimes things can be left unsaid.
After a emotional couple of weeks, I have let things go. I know there is more for me to focus on such as finals and getting ready to prepare for grad school. I am happy I have snapped out of my depressing mood and am back in sync.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
